Chapter Ten: Support: Wind beneath my Wings!

Where does your strength come from? Who is on your team? Who or what type of person do you need on your team?

I have always been self-motivated and possibly to the term of overachiever.

Yet I do find that I would have excelled faster if I had a coach, mentor or someone who was truly on my team rooting for me all the way.

Do you have that special person or persons?

How to find a Mentor/ Coach

1. Seeking out Mentors/ Coaches

This part is key to your growth

Greek mythology, Mentor (Greek: Μέντωρ, Méntōr; gen.: Μέντορος)[1] was the son of Alcimus or Anchialus or Heracles and Asopis. In his old age Mentor was a friend of Odysseus who placed Mentor and Odysseus' foster-brother Eumaeus in charge of his son Telemachus, and of Odysseus' palace, when Odysseus left for the Trojan War.

When Athena visited Telemachus she took the disguise of Mentor to hide herself from the suitors of Telemachus' mother Penelope.[2] As Mentor, the goddess encouraged Telemachus to stand up against the suitors and go abroad to find out what happened to his father. When Odysseus returned to Ithaca, Athena appeared briefly in the form of Mentor again at Odysseus' palace.

Because of Mentor's relationship with Telemachus, and the disguised Athena's encouragement and practical plans for dealing with personal dilemmas, the personal name Mentor has been adopted in English as a term meaning someone who imparts wisdom to and shares knowledge with a less experienced colleague.

Who imparts wisdom to you and shares their knowledge? (Journal)


Coaching, when referring to getting coached by a professional coach, is a teaching, training or development process in which an individual gets support while learning to achieve a specific personal or professional result or goal. The individual receiving coaching may be referred to as the client or coachee, or they may be in an intern or apprenticeship relationship with the person coaching them. Occasionally the term coaching may be applied to an informal relationship between one individual who has greater experience and expertise than another and offers advice and guidance as the other goes through a learning process. This form of coaching is similar to mentoring.

The structures, models and methodologies of coaching are numerous, and may be designed to facilitate thinking or learning new behavior for personal growth or professional advancement. There are also forms of coaching that help the coachee improve a physical skill, like in a sport or performing art form. Some coaches use a style in which they ask questions and offer opportunities that will challenge the coachee to find answers from within him/herself. This facilitates the learner to discover answers and new ways of being based on their values, preferences and unique perspective.

When coaching is aimed at facilitating psychological or emotional growth it should be differentiated from therapeutic and counseling disciplines, since clients of coaching, in most cases, are considered healthy (i.e. not sick). The purpose of the coaching is to help them move forward in whatever way they want to move, not to 'cure' them. In addition the therapist or counselor may work from a position of authoritative doubt, but cannot claim the position of ignorance so vital for coaching, because of the assessment knowledge that underpins their work.

The UK's Chartered Institute of Personnel Management reports[1] that 51% of companies (sample of 500) 'consider coaching as a key part of learning development' and 'crucial to their strategy', with 90% reporting that they use coaching. More recent research in 2011 by Qa Research, an independent marketing research agency in the UK, found that 80% of organizations surveyed had used or are now using coaching, but also found that while 90% of organizations’ with over 2,000 employees had used coaching in the past five years, only 68% of companies with 230–500 employees had done the same.
[2] The basic skills of coaching are often developed by managers within organizations specifically to improve their managing and leadership abilities, rather than to apply in formal one-to-one coaching sessions. These skills can also be applied within team meetings and are then akin to the more traditional skills of group facilitation.(

Interesting, Only 68% of organizations with 230 – 500 employees used coaches

What makes a good coach?

They should have what you want

They should have a proven track record

They should align with your values

They should be available

They should be a good listener

They should have a good Business Understanding

They should be unbiased

They should have your interest at heart

They should be motivational

They should be reachable

They should be _______________ Fill in some of your "Shoulds"


Thus far you have been able to assess your Business,

Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. (SWOT)

What do you need to skyrocket your business?


I have been self-employed since 1991, at the time of this writing that is over 22 years. I have had only one part-time job for three years in that time period. During that three year period I continued operating my Real Estate Company, my Ballroom Dance & DJ business and continued my education with many books, courses. I continually work on myself.

I have to be honest and say that I have had limited coaching. Over the past year I have developed a wonderful relationship with Dr Yvonne Oswald and have to say she is the closest I have had to a coach, mentor, etc. More important, she is not afraid to tell me what she is thinking, or to give me feedback about my work, thoughts etc.

This has been fantastic for me, because prior to having her in my life, I have always been someone’s mentor and coach.

My business and my overall desires have become more clear and focused working with her.

I have many friends, and a handful of close friends whom I know for over 25 years, but none have been honest enough to call me on my “____” Or maybe they just didn’t understand me.

I have been told in the past that if I would just “focus”. What most don’t understand is I am focused. I have many interest and prior to taking the Passion Test I could say I was all over the board and easily side tracked. I was not being true to myself.

Since I discovered the Passion Test I have been focused on my top (5) five passions and continue on that path.

I believe if I had a coach early on I would probably have more money in the bank. That is another subject that I worked on in reality just over the last year.

I have done a lot of work in the area of Money and my Beliefs. I would say that is still one of my key areas to work on. So for me a Coach that would be ideal is one who has the ability to make (a lot) money, save money and gives back.

What are the qualities that you need help with?

Do you know who would be your ideal coach?


2. Developing a cheering section

Who do you have in your cheering section today?


Are you giving more than you are getting from this relationship?

Take a good look at the people you spend time with. If you look at the top (5) five people in your life, (not counting your spouse/significant other) are they living the life style that you want?
(Journal List the 5 )

Make room for more positive energy

On a scale of 1 – 10 (quickly ask this question, with each individual) how good is this person for you?


If they score a 5 or below, Release them.

Who do you know or want to know that lives the life you want to emulate?


How can you attract them into your life?


3. Support Systems

Revisit your support System, be honest 1 – 10 how good are they for you?


Other Opportunities to Gain Support and Build your Tribe

Networking events; You can seek these out through google, Meet-ups,

Chamber of Commerce(s), local business section in your newspaper and word of mouth.

First be clear what you are looking for in an organization.

• Do you want to be with like-minded people?
• Gender Specific?
• Do you have a product that could stand out no matter where you go?
• Is the format something where you can benefit?
• How many members do they have?
• How often do they meet?
• How long have they been in existence?
• Do they meet at a convenient location and time?

Most groups will allow you to attend two times before they require you to join. Ask the members what they like and don’t like about the group.

In the past I have been active in the Chamber of Commerce and found that to be an effective group. They meet once a month for a breakfast, and once a month for after hours. Within the organization they had many “leads” groups that you could join. At the time I was active 95% of my business came from the Chamber and I had a 90% retention rate.

Last year I joined a Women’s network Group and liked the format and the people. This group is growing. The organizers are sharp and offer many additional seminars. What I don’t like is lately it seems like every time I attend one of their additional “seminars” they are up selling. I get real tired with the speal… All in all there is more “good” than “not good” so I continue to attend and support the lunches. I have met a lot of awesome people through this organization.

I also recently joined another organization which shall remain nameless (too) not promoting private networking groups at this time, except my own! I didn’t ask the right questions; in fact I really didn’t ask any questions. I attended my two lunches, enjoyed the interaction with the people and when I was asked to join I just happened to have some money with me that day.

The next month I attended I became disillusioned. I should have asked some important questions ahead of time such as; “What is your criteria for Speakers?” (Since that is what I love to do!) and found out you can’t be a member, and the subject matter has to be pertinent to “business”. Wow! So how do members grow? Oh, yea, they have a website where you can take “courses” to improve your business. I think this organization is great for the new entrepreneur, but something is lacking for the more seasoned entrepreneur. Only time will tell…

Mastermind Groups

When done correctly they work real well. Provided people keep to a format. Generally one person is the facilitator for the week. Each person checks in with how their previous week was. Sharing their “wins”, set out their goals for the coming week and state where they need help/guidance/support for the following week. So that everyone has enough time generally this time of group works best with eight members or less. I also love this method because it can be done anywhere via cell phone. Great Support System.

Some Networking Groups also include a Mastermind to show the power of numbers. More people, more ideas. Works we

Seminars / Webinars

These are more support but educational and a little less networking. Yet by attending a seminar you will be able to come face to face with others who have the same interests as you. As I am an easy sale, I generally have to tell myself in the beginning and during that “I don’t need what they are selling” unless the offer is so good and I can’t resist!
I also love webinars because I attend them in the comfort of my own home (office) and some have recordings so it is good to replay them for reinforcement.




Thoughts: Why do you think it is important to have a coach, mentor, cheering section? (Journal)

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